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Welcome!
Welcome to Poetry Critical, an online poetry workshop. To post your own poetry, rate that of others, or start a new thread on the message board, you'll need to create a user id by typing a name and password in the box above and hitting 'New User'. If you just want to critique or jump into the discussion, however, you can do that without logging in by typing your comment in the box under each poem or post.
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Random Poem:
| Locks |
Linnac
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Though all who see me, | 1 |
Spear my heart, | 2 |
Inside the flesh, | 3 |
Is a work of art. | 4 |
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No one looks | 5 |
Beyond the skin, | 6 |
Or the bloodlines | 7 |
Of my kin. | 8 |
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I wear a gown | 9 |
So tattered and old, | 10 |
Of course there’s a story | 11 |
Yet to be told. | 12 |
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It tells of the pain | 13 |
Prejudice has wrought, | 14 |
But I’m silent, | 15 |
No words I’ve been taught. | 16 |
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All they see | 17 |
Is a peasant girl, | 18 |
To whom the men jeer, | 19 |
“Give us a whirl!” | 20 |
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But I know no dances, | 21 |
I won’t understand, | 22 |
I’m trapped in a very | 23 |
Unforgiving land. | 24 |
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To those who’d listen, | 25 |
My story, I can’t share, | 26 |
I whisper no disappointment, | 27 |
I can’t say, “It’s not fair.” | 28 |
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Hunger often claims me, | 29 |
I dwindle to a shell, | 30 |
I have nothing, | 31 |
And I’m quite unwell. | 32 |
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These are harsh times, | 33 |
Everyone scurries by, | 34 |
Not caring about the girl | 35 |
Who is trying not to cry. | 36 |
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No one considers | 37 |
The sorrow in my eyes, | 38 |
Eyes which stare blankly | 39 |
At the smoky skies. | 40 |
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I wish I could form | 41 |
Some words on my lips, | 42 |
But my swollen tongue | 43 |
Only stutters and trips. | 44 |
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I see the happy faces | 45 |
And I’m muted by shock, | 46 |
A shop over there, | 47 |
With a broken lock. | 48 |
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I sneak onto the cobbles | 49 |
In the dead of night, | 50 |
A boy creeps by | 51 |
Stealing a kite. | 52 |
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As a pigeon pecks the ground, | 53 |
And a rat scampers near, | 54 |
I feel a foreboding, | 55 |
Utter sense of fear. | 56 |
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I’m close to the Thames, | 57 |
So it smells like waste, | 58 |
And I can’t rid myself | 59 |
Of that awful taste. | 60 |
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My mind went blank, | 61 |
As it often did, | 62 |
And a horse cantered by | 63 |
Ridden by a kid. | 64 |
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His father catches up | 65 |
Short of breath, | 66 |
I try the door, | 67 |
But feel like death. | 68 |
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It is locked | 69 |
By those new keyhole things, | 70 |
I’d just missed the chance | 71 |
To steal some rings. | 72 |
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The boy laughs | 73 |
And rides up to me, | 74 |
“Hi, I’m hungry, | 75 |
Want to come for tea?” | 76 |
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And just like that, | 77 |
A whole new world | 78 |
Of rosy cheeks | 79 |
And hair that’s curled. | 80 |
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The boy was nice, | 81 |
Said he’d been watching me, | 82 |
Everyday, | 83 |
He rode up to see. | 84 |
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He said I was pretty, | 85 |
Then asked me my name, | 86 |
When I mimed a sore throat, | 87 |
He thought it was a shame. | 88 |
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His parents were nice | 89 |
And his butler astute, | 90 |
They gave me speaking lessons, | 91 |
But I chose to be mute. | 92 |
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At least I could understand | 93 |
And mime to make him smile, | 94 |
His gorgeous flavoured name was | 95 |
Peter John Tyle. | 96 |
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He was my Peter, | 97 |
And he called me Jane, | 98 |
After a woman | 99 |
Who may be insane. | 100 |
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He said I was a joker, | 101 |
He could read it in my heart, | 102 |
Finally someone | 103 |
Who knew my part. | 104 |
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We grew up together | 105 |
And no words did I say, | 106 |
But he knew I loved him, | 107 |
So that was OK. | 108 |
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He pierced inside me | 109 |
And took out my soul, | 110 |
Bonded it to his, | 111 |
That took its toll! | 112 |
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We would live together, | 113 |
I’d be Peter’s bride, | 114 |
Until we found out | 115 |
His parents had lied. | 116 |
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They had arranged | 117 |
That he wed another, | 118 |
My heart split, | 119 |
I could love no other. | 120 |
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He looked at me, | 121 |
Apologising, | 122 |
I never knew | 123 |
Of this cunning devising. | 124 |
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Just then, | 125 |
My whole world crumbled | 126 |
And out of the room, | 127 |
I haplessly bumbled. | 128 |
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Awake that night, | 129 |
I lay on my pillows, | 130 |
The tears fell silently | 131 |
Like those of weeping willows’. | 132 |
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A glimmer of light, | 133 |
A candle was aflame! | 134 |
Peter then whispered, | 135 |
His parents were to blame. | 136 |
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I hadn’t heard the door open, | 137 |
Not a draft of wind, | 138 |
And the relief I felt | 139 |
I kept quite tinned. | 140 |
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He told me to dress quickly | 141 |
And come with him, | 142 |
He then told me, | 143 |
We were risking life and limb. | 144 |
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I felt, | 145 |
A surge of pride, | 146 |
Running away, | 147 |
My lover at my side. | 148 |
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And in the moonlight, | 149 |
We stole his parents’ gold, | 150 |
He cautioned the danger, | 151 |
I didn’t need to be told. | 152 |
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Outside, | 153 |
A carriage awaited, | 154 |
I could see that this escape | 155 |
Had been heavily contemplated. | 156 |
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And so we got on, | 157 |
His hand clasped in mine, | 158 |
He asked how I felt, | 159 |
I mimed feeling fine. | 160 |
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Then he leaning forward, | 161 |
So his smile I wouldn’t miss, | 162 |
And like in the fairy tales, | 163 |
He granted me true love’s first kiss. | 164 |
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He took me in his arms, | 165 |
A bump broke us apart, | 166 |
And my first words were, | 167 |
“You’ve unlocked my heart!” | 168 |
(comment on this poem) |
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